Transition. Grey Area. Limbo.
I have no idea what I'm doing right now.
Maybe that's ok.
For six years I ran a small yarn shop. As insignificant as it was in most respects, it gave me purpose. I had a job to do, people to teach, coffee to serve, messes to clean up. I had a community, a partner, and every day interesting people visited.
While there weren't many financial benefits, running a retail shop is one of the best educations I've ever received. Book keeping, schedule making, and marketing were just a few things on a long list of things I had to keep up with regularly. I did ok until the people showed up.
I had a few very loyal, loving supporters. I am so grateful for that, but, I am by nature, a people pleaser. It is difficult for me to say no. My boundaries were flimsy at best, and I think, after 6 years of not saying no to everyone who crossed my path (especially to the not so loyal, not so loving people) I made the decision that it was time for me to start saying yes to myself.
I closed the shop in December of 2017. I still have an online presence, but am hammering the final nails in that coffin as we speak. I'm done with retail for a while, unless the products being sold (on this site) are specifically produced by myself, or someone I care about.
In 2018, I spent some time in America. As hard as that was, the removal from my usual environment gave me time to really examine what I'm doing with my life. I spent hours in my favorite chair mindfully pulling up stitch after stitch, producing sweaters, hats, socks, and dreams.
I traveled for a brief period in the UK in October, and wandered hours on end through the streets of London for little over a week. I'm not sure how I found it, but I stumbled upon Savile Row. "Lust" is the best description for what I felt after peaking through windows, watching customers pop in and out of shops with garment bags in tow, and quietly sneaking into a few of the less intimidating places. I suppose it's only natural I felt this way, I've been interested in mens clothing since my years in art school, and could only ever explore that in the form of printmaking, which was wholly unsatisfying.
Fast-forward 15 years. I’m standing here with my hands empty, trying to figure out how to continue.
I'm still making sweaters and socks, and hats, and spinning fuzzy things into string, but in the in-between, I suppose I'll be playing with tweeds and building suits too.
Nothing ever really works out like I imagined it would, but as long as life is interesting I guess, who cares?